What i found out after comming back in civilization,

Taxi fares are a total BITCH
Its flooding everywhere
I need clothes for christmas
My stupid pay is gone
I haven't seen my friends in a thousand years.
No more christmas party at my house.
Yx has got his bike.
And lastly...
The christmas spirit has not hit me yett.!

Ya,theres not gonna be a party at my house this year,to all my friends disappointment.But ah well,its not my house after all.
I'm thinking of ways to salvage this year for myself,but it keeps getting worse day after day.
We had fun today,as usual i was sick and they took care of me from time to time but by also bullying me cos i'm always sleeping!.Packed our field stuff for friday's move and went off for our leave till thurs!,which means i can go to aunt's house for party!.
Well,thats all.

Tor birthday laa can?

Well for me it was just once movie and a taxi ride home,the rest ate and made merry at marina's billy bombers,was it me or did the whole thing feel so wierd for me?
It was the first time i din really talk to anyone,even tho i was in my place.
I miss camp suddenly..

Well we're 4 and lovin it!

next week's the last in camp and then its off to Kcamp then to oversea.
I'm starting to dread everything laa,just because christmas bumms this year.
Tis the season to be jolly right?
i hope so!

Ope!
It's gonna be another cold one.

Ah,my review of A7X's new album?
FANTASTIC!
A very mature sound,kinda reminds me of the Foo Fighters.hmmm.

Ah the bad news of all bad news,i'll be alone for christmas yet again.Family goin overseas and of course i can't..well well...house party?.
So many plans so many worries,i think i'll just have to leave it.
Till next time!

ITS 1AM AND I WANNA GO OUTT!!!


I really Need need to make an exit from my house right about now!,not that theres any problem but everyone's sleeping and i'm going back to camp tomorrow and and and...!!
Gah,really NOT looking foreward to camp tomorrow but ah well!

I really really NEED to do something to that thingy on my chest,either i change it or just colour it.Starting not to like it.So thats one problem there.
PAY came yesterday night just after we ate at BREEKS! and then chilled at starbucks that's the cause of my sorethroat now heh!.

I really din expect it to be SOO much but ah they give i take(:(:
Not two days have passed and 200 moolah is gone already!Me and my naughty itchy hands!
I gotta say my holiday has been awesome just like the Rock'n'Roll cab driver that drove us home yesterday but i really din want it to end.
Thats to all my Brothers and of course girls!

As i end this post,i WISH PARAMORE CAME TO TOWN!
heh(:

I'm on HOLIDAY!

Heh,on my two week holiday,i'm having quite a blast so farr.
Just finishing up sean's homework on law hahas,he asked me to do it for em bleh!.
Went rounding yesterdat night!
two SP's one super 4 and and R1!
Mor raced on the expressway and we went 180 tops!
hahahs speed speed!
went to changi village then rode back home.Its all not too bad now.My pays gonna come soon,that means bills and such,also shopping and saving.
I injured my back a on monday tho,doctor suspects a clot or hairline crack on my lower back or something,i would not walk for the first rew days but nows it better,wonder what'll happen when i go back to camp heh.kenger!
That that i think.i think i wanna eat more junk foods!
chin chow(:

LET THE FLAMES BEGIN!

You know when its someones birthday,it usually rocks quite alot!.
Went to amritos birthday yesterday at bora bora beach pub in sentosa yesterday night and wow it was quite cool man!
And of course the birthday boy was drunk as hell as any 18-year old would be,most of us were too la.And it was the managers fault!,he kept bringing drinks out free flow mann!,I SWEAR he's the coolest man!.Went home.Nearly fought with some ang mohs in the sentosa bus!,i was funny as hell i tell you,first time it happened in a bus!.
Birthdayboy puked all over the mrt!LAWL!
So they took a cab home and we continued in a new mrt of course(:.
Sat and talked till abvout 3 then went home finally.

And Whoa!,my IPPT got gold so yeash! bring me the extra money!,i'm like so waiting for my next pay mann,which is in like 4 days!.Camp has been okay so farr no complaints there.
Everything is fit and well so farr!
Its just whats inside thats bothers.

We are broken.

So another week back,now as a private!.
I got sent to a new company and that kinda sucked cos all my great friends are back at BRavo!.
First few days sucked badly,no-one to talk to and so forth,felt so depressed.
I've realized that no matter how good a person is,he or she always puts themselves above anything in sense of thinking or action to benefit them.No,you can't deny it if you don't then i say you are close to heavenly.I noticed that alot from my schooling days to my NS days.I've always tried to put others ahead of myself but there are some situaaions where that it nearly impossible.

Booked out yesterday!,watched two movies today!.so many people calling me out!,two girls some guys and my mom wants me to stay home! hahas.i went out anyways.
Chicago.

Riot!


HELLO!
I'm on one week break so i have to pen down something right?
Eerms....
so,its been great so far,the people are good things are great apart from the fac that my pay acts like its in a magic trick!,its vanishes in a blink!
Heh.I still havent lernt to control my spending!
About camp.I would miss y old mates if you ask me,they've been great fun through tough and happy times,quite attached to them avctually,so i'd be sad if i got posted away from em.
My week break has been fine so far,went places,having fun here and there,catching up with relatives and friends alike.
I failed my prac today!,its okay the more they fail me the more i won't have an accident when i'm riding next time(:
Hmm.whats more...yeah..so this is life so far,i've changed alot,i'd doubt you'd reconise me on the streets if you saw me.I mean i woulden't.heh.
Feelings change,people move on,brothers still stay strong,others fade,we all become stronger.

Have you?
(:

One for the road.

Heh

This one's for the people who are still reading.
I've experiences toughness and things that i've had and have not before but in the end alls well in the place that i'm in now.
Wehn i return home,i feel very distanced from both family and friends,not having much to say to them except whats interesting that's happened to me.Alas to friends its abit different,some people have changed some have not,of course there are those who are always there for me.Those who have no time be it work or school.
Well if thats the life i'll have to endure then so be it actually.
And HEY! i'm so strong!lawl,kidding.
Call me out people! on sat and suns i mean(:

Yup this is one of the final posts if not the final post.
We finally buried it last saturday,those words only to be read again in the future years to come.Who know what'll happen in the years to come.?100-13

Comming into friday ,i realize theres so much that i've not accomplished in my boyhood.Saything that everything is alright and that i'm happy would be the biggest lie in the world god knows but its the obvious answer to anyone asking that question.Of couse you people out there would never know exactly how it is.Its very pain.

No regrets,Thats what we all try to achieve in life,it's one of the hardest things to do in life actually,together with Letting go.-TOR
Yea,people will forget me and stuff but i don't mind,not that i'm all-important in their lives or anything,i'll forgive them.
This is one of those times you'd wish that things turned out differently.
Well now..

DARKSHINES

Hirameki!
Well,finally there is a deadline and its June the 15th.
Had blast down at sentosa yesterday with the usual suspects,yea yesterday was such a burning day!.You could almost have 3rd degree burns!
After the fun we headed to the asisn food thingy down at EXPO which was seriously packed!Loads of good foods there for everyone and we went around sampling everything!,even the beer(butr couldent) which was kept to the event people only heh.

I pitched this idea where we make a time machine together where weput vioce recordings,photos,stuff that mean lots to us into a box and bury it somewhere and then dig it up in a few years time.They said they would cry when they heard their vioces and the hards times of now when they open it up eventually.Its gonna be done(:

Since i'm goin for long term camping,their gonna hold a party thingy for me this June 12 at MOS!,which i think i won't be able to go to if i can't make any money til then!.Thanks guys.

till next,
chow chin chow!

Leave out all the rest.

I've just realized that people forget easily,
old friends on the street once the best of friends,now just walk past with barely a "hi".
Yes you get the whole"I'll call you" or "we'll go out!" at first but after that nothing.
And i hate waving and friends and all i get back is just a cold stare that says "Who the hell are you"
i swear i turned around and all the vulgarities will fly.
I mean your not with your cool friends and need to act cool by not saying hello.

I'm so glad i have my brothers.These are the people i depend on.They feed me when i have no money and support me in every little thing.No we might not be neardy and all that but each of us study towards what we want to become.We have bikes and tattoos that seem like social misfits,but that is a far cry from what is true,is that you'll never have true friends outside.
You think your great collgue/friend that just treated you to a great dinner is cool?,Well don't be surprised if he backstabbs you the very next morning!.

If the very same friend that has been with you since that first boring day in orientation at secondray school or even the cry-days of primary school,i tell you now thery are your real friends so keep them close,you'll never know.

Oh by the way Linkin park's new album is a great listen.

So cheers to friends!
For they can be bitter or sweet.

Fame Infamy.
I've just found out that i have a new hobby!,sadly to say it's taking long walks back home.Although who i walk with is none of anyne's buisness but its really cool when everything's quiet and calm and the tempreature's just right with that suspicious smell of jasmine in the air everything i walk down the road.You really doin't realize your home till at the very end where i enter the lift which is knda an anti-climax to the journey.

Hey! i notice there's no traffic to this blog anymore,thats cool you know,no offence but theres a sense of freedom and you need not please anyone.Actually in life theres always a need to please people,especially of they are unreasonable,however bad you'd think i am i never ever correct anyone when they insist on goin their way,there's a thinking process thats goes with it-kind of a spider-sense that tells me what will happen a few seconds later if i make the wrong move and everything turns sour.However theres always a limit.

Went to chat with the the guys just now,could not go to our usual place as some underground activites were happeneing and the place was too dangerous for us.(:

Well i passed my bike prac today -WHEE!- i had one prace at 12pm and another at 4pm which i passed,it was all too quick and too fun.I'd never thought i could meet the people that i've met there,and even the possibility of making some friends there ,wow.I got to know a really beautiful girl there today.Heh

Ok so remember Life's not about you!,its all about life!(:

Stockholm Syndrome

so it begins,the time when we drift...we find others and you think of them as the thing of the past,its all so slow so gradual.
Really sick of being at home everyday nowadays.Its not like theres anything to hate or what at home but i need to do something to keep that feeling from commin back,it seeps in like poison once the idle mind no longer notices.After that i'll be looking to the stars asking them about my purpose in life..I'm sure they hold the secret.


Nothing much goin on today just went to church and then playing with my bros and friend at home then heading to a friends house to get the helmet for my Prac tomorrow.We talked for a while then headed home,ozk gave me a lift!(:

Having too much to write down really sucks sometimes,you suddenly forget at the crucial moments and it all comes out jumbled...well as the great song goes:

Me'n' you sitting inna honeymoon,if i woke up next to you.

heh kinda stupid.

Shadow of the day

Oh yes!
my com has been fixed!,but its a little bit retarded in a way that the memory has been stole from it!,could a computer suffer from memory loss?!
what a week it has been,from job finding to plain slacking around!

So on Thrus i had my motorcycle practical ooh and boy was it fun!,i really love the buzz of the engine and the power of the engine,not like i havent rode a bike before but this was like none other,yeah i had some mistakes here and there llike stupidly using one finger when applying the brakes! how stupid!.Well part 2 is this monday so i hope i pass this,then its on to get my PDL then i'll advance faster(:.
Really fun experiences at the SSDC.
I just came back from a magic show tho,it was so-so.

I felt really sore today when i saw these P students here and there and i kept reflecting over and over again untill i got really angry at myself.I came to a conclusion that this was not the like for me and that i would'ent fit in anyways.Live and let live.
Even so,i feel ever-so detatched so sad and isolated even.
They have everything goin for them,but i'm unsure about everything.Sometimes it seems to me that everyday for me is an act to cover it all up,a show of strength more likely.
At rock-bottom,all i hope is to pick myself up and carry on,what the hell point is there in dwelling.
I'm so sorry.

The original.

One of those moments is occuring now
The type for me where after an hour or so of listening to songs my Muse,the soothing piano mixed with electric guitars allways gets to me.
Today's topic occured to me when i sat down and had a drink with my uncle who will be leaving for India with my dad in a few more hours.
So he dragged me to the the koffee shop and orfered like 5 bottles.we talked and talked,which for me was surprising besause at this day and age i feel that most young people don't really speak to their parents/relatives or whatsoever,we chatted on and on about everything,about our family,the past lives,my Grandfather,and those family ghost stories and gossips(:.
He was very down to earth and like any old timer,had connections to the underworld and so on,soon he introduced me to loads of people which i've never met in yishun that live near me!,they came and went on about their buisness,often telling me to take care of family and so on.What baffled me was that my uncle lives on the other side of the island and people here know him!.

I really feel sad for the parents of people i'm around who always complain that (mostly Father) or mother is a strict or whatsoever person,and they go one using whatever vulgar explitives to describe thir parents.Of course in front of them i never ever correct them because i've learnt that they won't change their mindset for one person who don't kow what they've gone thru,these people don't know what their parents are goin thru,and more importantly,their murturity is not even there yet.
Yes i've went thruough "that" phase in life where you hate everything and anything including your parents and i have never looked back at it becuase there's really no point in doing so.

we talked the afternoon away untill my mom came and checked on us which ment it was time to go.and i had a hangover later that night;P

So kids,your folks have gone thru a hell of a lot more years than you have so don't think that your puny 16-18 years on this earth matters!
err,goodnight

City of Delusion.

So i went to this costume party/birthday for one of those distant cousins that we mostly only say hi to.Despite that,the girls were hot!
Lemme see,i saw...Bob marley,Whako jacko!,japanese kimono girls!,storm from X-men,cleopatra!,roman soldiers!,steven segal!,Fiddy cent!.
thats about all i saw there,most of the time me and Nigel were just having a drink and talking all the way with some people we've never met.It was quite fun yea untill the part where that idiot wanted us to makan supper at 5 am!,i swear i was so tired!

Well,i did sacrifice watching SPIDERMAN 4 with TORs,i really hoped i could make it,they took up almost the whole cinema!.
Well nigel too sacrificed his ZOUK nonsense to go so...
Well my uncle'n'dad are heading for india this tues so all da best!

There are wayyyy to many "welll"'s mann.

Okay chicago.

Florescent Adolescent

l: Oh yes!,i'm spurred to blog again!

Since today is the last day of the month,its only appropriate to sum it all up!.
For me its been quite a month of growing up actually,to let go,to learn fast and most of all quite an emotional 0ne to say the least.
So the stuff i need to accomplish in the next month are to get a job firstly and slave for some moolah.Next is to get a Honda SP for my riding pleasure after i complete my motorbike exams.

I think this month may is really a one for letting go,for change.Friends move off to their different lives getting all nostalgic everytime we meet up(which is quite frequently)we begin to talk and talk for hours about the old times and gossip about old problems or teachers!
Well,cheers to friends new and old!but most of all to family,the most important thing in life.

Yea today my plans failed!my cousin was goin to take me to this tattoo shop which he reccomends.well my pay did not come in today so i'll be waiting!
Chicago(:

The drop dead dream.

So blogger does not wanna make my words unbolded,its okay;P

Yea we went down to PHS today as Mrs Chia would call it lending "Moral support",it was alright that they got COP for the syf,well the ones bummed out would be those graduating girls,yes just because Drama just started in their school and they would be graduating next year.I'm sure they will clinch a gold in 2 years time,yes,their that good.
As for our good ole NBSS,they got a bronzie,heh.Nocomment!
Alot is on stake later,chelsea vs liver
if i win i get ard 80 bucks,so please please chelsea win!!
Thats all folks

The (after)life of the party.
Yea,the feeling you get after a really good time,the one where you wised time ourld have just slowed down for those spare moments so that you could fully savour the memories and the full-fledged fun.I'd sell my soul for that.
Yea i'm gonna get a job soon,and then i'll be making big moolah.
So i'm goin in this july or whatever.My uncle recently came round and the first thing he did was show us his tattoo made-in-austraila.yea it was wonderfull.
Sea as my grave
Shark as my coffin.
it was quite a big back piece and i asked him to check out mine heh and he asked me to extend it to my whole arm then come to talk to him lawl.
Went to my Aunts house last sat for a cousin's 13th birthday and they were supportive and i listened to my uncles advices about the army right till the part where they said the length of your balls mattered if you were goin into pes A or B.Thats the part were i exited myself for a beer heh.
Sunday was bowling day with the guys,a girl and a um another girl! heh.what surprised me was that i din go to church that day,that was a first in a long long time.
well,thats about it.
so,
who wants to shave my head?
alright,chicago.

Infinity.
Oh,
How it was wonderful to act again,the tense backstage atmosphere,the incredible rehersals,the bonds made and lastly the high that you experience at the finale.
Our show was a success contradictory to the fact that we only had 2 solid rehersals!.
All thanks to Alvin,after all these years he's still a great guy,ans oh yes how successful he will become in the future.
It's the highlight my my month.
So my worst fear has just materialised,is that i have to go away for 2 years.Yes so much for being a good student and haveing so many awards and accolades.So what if they say i have a smart brain?The fact that i am still going away just because of a slip that CMPB could'ent explain.
Just last wednesday i thought my life was on track again when the news hit me.well it okay cos i don'tfeel much of it anyway,i've been hit since the start of the year.
My good friend said he'd break down if he were me and that he'd hope he could be as strong as me.I myself don't know why i'm strong.Is not feeling called being strong?
My god left me.
Well,i'll know for a fact that i'll be getting my dip the same time as them and that i'll be working while their in the army.Neyhaa
I've given myself 3 mths to get my liscence.
Apart from these i still have fears.I fear and therefore i am scared.
Well,
The show must go on.

The Great Loser.
Yea just came back from rehersals and i found out that my skool needs my deferment letter and stuff.So i called CMPB and they said that i'm only able to defer when i'm under 18 and accepted into a fulltime course,so now that i'm 18 they said its hard to defer which i don't know what the problem is and only know that the end result is that i'd have to enter ns.
i think i won't be able to sleep tonight untill i go to CMPB tomrrow with my letter from my skool.
A part of me feels like just goin into ns and dissapearing for 2 and whatever years so i won't be a burden for my parents or anyone.Why din't the bitch poly's accept me when they bloody well accepted fuckers with 30 odd pts mann.That pisses me off till today and it will till i dunno when.
Stress i tell you,stress that makes me wanna pick up the pack again.
Ah fuck it.
I need to go to church,i need peace.i need strength.

Yesah!
So's i think i'm gonna be late for rehersals but it's all good.
Been goin to PBHSS for rehersals and trainings,at first to train those buggers but now its our turn to perform this saturday to a ticketed concert!,only my second in all my years!,its $10 bucks a tick,some kind of showcase of the schools new drama club and we're just there for the help(:
Yesterday was cool went down and alvin and mingy and all were there but we changed the script by greg to a new one that should be okay by today!.

Yes of course i'm bummed that everyone's goin their own ways and just disappointed that i went mine.yes there's something that i'm very angry about.
Yes next mon i will be starting school,i don't know what to expect and who i'd meet or if i'd even have friends!.Its like the first day of sec school all over mann.

Yes i haven't started taking my motorbike pracs yet,because that damn MOR is too busy to bring me;P,i swear i'll overtake em!,so i'm nervous about that too,hope to pass asap!.

Yea,saturday's gonna be packed day mann,showtime about 7 plus but before that intentive rehersals and stuff and then after that its for us to hit FLUID BAR,i swear that they will never make me drink;P

Well this is our lives,it has to go on...right?
chiaos(:

Haappy Easter!
Yup easter time!
I'm damn sick now but what the hell,yesterday stayed at aunty valencia's house witht hat ass nigel and we ended up talked ghost stories till 4!,i swear i scared her mann!
Before that was GOOD FRIDAY,we had some kind of celbration thingy at granma's then aunties houses WITH only vegetarian foods:)
Oh yea,our chalet was a blast!
just ask me
kay kay,gotta meet owen at J8 soon,and then to aunt's house again.
(:

Love is...

So i'm compelled to blog again because partly of my need to write,or in this case type things down.Went to Jurong to suppor a friend whose joining Annugerah,lawl i pity them,it was raining torrents.after so on we went to watch Meet the robinsons which i feel totally unjustified for because i bought for all of them drinks and stuff.Mostly after that it was walking around and i noticed one thing,i've not looked at people in a long time.Thank goodness tomorrow is my last day working.I've felt really dead when goin to work and realized that somehow it sucks the life out of you and you dont have time for anything,you don't notice things like you did before,in a sense,you are numbed to the world around you.
I've been pulled outta there because yesterday i went to PHS and it opened up an old feeling i had inside of me,which is acting.
they wanted to see what we were capable of so alvin and mrs chia proposed we do an impromtu skit,and OMG how it all flowed together!My feelings were excited and those memories of sec 1 just came back mann,looking at these lower sec eldds kids really made me feel happy and sad.
Acting,came so naturally to me again,and those kids spoke a different english than what i hear around me so i reverted back to proper english quite easily complete with chim words;P.
Yes i won't be going to a poly but that wont stop me from getting the dip i want.
Yes i hate it that people who did worse than me are in a polytechnic,i really hate that,but its useless to hate what i can't attain anymore but cherish what i can MORE than them.

Oh,i got my birthday party pics,they are crazey!
and i want the sentosa pics too!,that veron..
Crazy week its been.

And so to end off...
Love is the essence of life

OHH LOOK its a blast from the past!

Okay okay my last post was lightyears away so i'll just give the basic update for none of you who are reading.
I'm taking mass comms right noww
My bike lisence is goin fine but i still don't know how the hell to spell it.
I've quit my job
My coms finally up
My life is looking up
i can't think of anymore things...hmm i think my readers have all gone away so i'll go on to pull people back in! nehaaha
Went to PHS yesterday to meet the drama team there,they seem really enegetic! and Mrs chia was about the same as last time heh.Coached em for a bit cos i din really know them and then went on to let em watch our syf stuff just to get the mood going,funny how we're not helping our own eldds team eh?,wonder whats the problem(:
Soccers goin fine,finally forced them to take on Bishan 11 which is like the strongest team wer're goin up against so farr.
whats more...
My birthday party was a blast!! just look at the pics and see!(their not on this site)thanks all my dudes and babes for the blasting funn! and my bros friends and my dear relatives!it was a blast!
Bye!