False Hopes and Expectations

False hopes,maybe that just what you giving me,everytime i see the true fact of you.I'll cry with you.
You could be the one intented,living my life unintented.
False hopes laa,how?!
Maybe i'll just help you in your pain,lift you.
and then its back to feeling useless.

English prelims were not too badd,i could not understand what i was writing during compo,so die.
Then it was DnT all the wayy till 9 pm with mor kai,finally went to bind the foilo at 9 plus and handed to kai to hand up for us tomorrow.
Still no one called or msged.
Home,went down for food.
Sleep.Oh,i havent had sleep since july.
still i can't sleep,i think about the false hopes too much.

Unintended.

Suck,it just sucks.
It sucks cos we din win anything at the tournament yesterday because of me.
Fuck myself for not being able to do anything laa!
It sucks that people who arn't as good as me can have all the better things.
It sucks that you moved away
Just so demoralized this whole week for reasons which are really very true.i don't know why i can't do things any better.

Went to Clair Yeo's piano performance yesterday,courtesy of Mr Mak,She was great mann,at only 14 she played Mozart,Beethoven,shumann and some other guyy.The music was really great.I think i enjoyed Beethoven the most,the music showed what he was feeling,unrestful,uneasy,anger,sadness,joy.
The music was great ok.I could relate to it,funny how music could touch somone like that.The others said it was boring so ;P.
Went home ard 2am plus.
woke at 7 again for training today,i tel you,i really am so tired now,my whole body aches and my mind is just not here.
Why couldent i score any yesterday,i missed 3 chancesfuck laa.
I know your all blaming me.Sorry.
Ah forget it,i'm gonna go try drown al my sorrows.

What are your Relationships like?

Its no use being angry,i know that now.
Even when my english is getting worse than everyone and i don't even know whyy.
Or even when somone argues with me over some stupid matter.
Much less to the teacher who wants to cut my hair or the sec 4's who always talk bad about us behind our backs.
I'm really leaning not to get angry and i tihnk i've lernt alot in this week.
I really feel that,after five years in this school and 5 years together,now is the time where i really see my friends for who they really are.The way they get angry over a simple matter or just their nitty gritty attitudes which show their ugly face to you,perhaps all these years they've just been putting on a mask to hide it or those 4 years were "play time" compaired to this crucial year.
Today-friday,i've learned that even tho others can hate or dislike somone and bitch about them to you,you can't really do the same with them,then maybe you'll be greeted with some harsh words from them.I felt so useless,i really did.
I'll keep my mouth shut and do next weeks prelims and then work during the week end.
Mor said somthing that was really very true,Tor-last time we were damn close,but now seems like each have left to accompany their girls.Slowly mor,thur,ow,soontobe mae,all goin away.
Haiya its quite sadd ok.
Guess that it would happen sometime or another,them goin with their girls.Leaving behind..
-I pushed them away for some time all because off one person that now has left me a sour taste in my mouth,then when i start seeing them,they're no more there.So i've also learned to never linger on one person,in a sense,others will go.
-Tomorrows my zone 8 match at my field,quite calm now but i'll be damn freeked tomorrow,hope i play hard,don't worry i won't let yall down!

Damn why can't i write compos like my blog entry:P

Faded starr ink

Oner comment first,My hair absolutely fastically sucks big time,thanks to our discipline headmistress,its soup bowl style lawl.when she said she wanted to cut i surpriseingly din defend myself any way,just watched the hair fall down lawl.
These few days.wow.one word only hectic.The days seem to really pass very fast,i only remember monday.
All the problems the talks between ourclassmates seem to have an impact cos today i felt that we really were a class again without bitchings and distrust,compaired to tthe fact that some have refered to ours as the perfect class cos we always look united,but there are cracks tho.
So alls well in 5A i think.
Trying really hard not to be sick now cos i really need to concentrate on getting DNT done tomorrow and foilo too.
Even tho i was sick i was stubborn and played some soccer.I can see whyy mor likes cutting people now,its so addictive!.Gotta be fit for saturday's zone 8 match which only me sean and zen playin in.Scary stuff mann division one players and all.
Next thrus to sun gonna go work at some airbase for some extra cash,i know..mad.
Umm what more.
Think thats enough for an update yea?not gonna be bloggin alot ready.

-Do yuo love to be love or love to love?
i see somone so special there hahas,maybe i'll just wait and see(:

I clicked blogger two times but both times i closed the page because,come to think i it i really dont know whyy.
What am i tihnking now,i'm thinking about my primary school days.how sadd.
Also trying not to be so angry now,i really am trying.
-Deny me for its whats best

Faded Starrs

The opening of our Schools Project cabin was abit too made up and very short.
Me mor and owen were doin some ushering at the staircase,quite funn doin cos we could disturb those kids form other schools but ushering those high class peoples were quite funn.Disappointed cos everyone wanted to go home early cos usually things like theese we will stay till late:(
Owen went movie and so i went home to be sentenced to being bored.Slept abit and then worke to buy dinner and saw greg and others from the bus,huh..people go out and dont call me anymore,thats sadd.
Continued later..

Can i?


So i found out that i dont like the majority of sec 3s except for some,very mean right?
English vendor was great today,learned heap loads.Maths 5 periods...the sub teacher looked like a bollywood star and he was areal gentleman and fit.great,but he said i was the bollywood star lawl.
Did some Dnt after skool,so relax but fricking tired mann,nah i like the teacher.
The concert happening this sat is so gonna fail mann,nothing excites me;P
What else..
Oh mom says Pheonix tattoo is good which is good.lawl
What else..
i love sec 5's?

What use for a title?

If useless were a feeling than i would be that times 10.
Possibly can't do my english homework now,fricking compo that i could so easily do and i can't bring myself to do it.shit.
I keep thinking you know,what if i did this and that differently,then maybe the ending would be the one i want alot.
I wake up in the night and think.how can i change everything,can i change people,Can i change that somone?.
oh.Fireworks were great on sat,we saw Mrs Yee and her family there,we helped to carry her kids so they could see hahas,so cute.
Did the fireworks have heart shapes in it or am i lovesick?
Came home ard 12 which was good cos i told my mom i was goin to woodlands libarary,they din tell me they planned to go to esplanade and when i met them,i asked them why the hell they were dressed so nicely and i was wearing crap.
Before that went to some dance thingy.I still don't know whyy all the gays and the dancers and the hip hoppers and the rockers come from malays.What happend to the others?

Nothing worse than somone fadding from me.:(

I wanna click you!

just back from watchin click!,was a great movie with a great storyline..actually quite stupid cos it was all a dream lawl.
So the moral of the show is that family comes first yea.
Jaz was idoit blamin me for not bringing a spoon,who brings a spoon out mann?
Went home after that cos they were all meeting at pop then goin home so went home with two of them.
Still not sure if i can go to perth at end of year,i think i got to concentrate on studies still.aftr this national day its no more enjoyin time i think.
So again i feel betrayed.Then again not.
How can Somone love you if you dont know they love me right? Thats what they say(:

Somtimes i wish

ITS TOTALLY OK THAT I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER BASTARD LONEY IDIOT WITH THAT IS PRACTICALLY USELESS IN SEEING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT AND NOT LOSE ALL THE FUCKING CHANCES I HAVE
IF I CANNOT FEEL THAT WAY THEN I DONT KNOW WHAT FUCKING LIFE THIS IS.

Colourless

Seems that i'm partying 24/7 now.
Went CMPB on friday in the morning so i din go to skool,so we went to differ NS and mor went for his army medical checkup,He told us everything about the check up,frickin hilarious!
So after that went to meet xian at th national libaray at bugis,co we were waiting for veron to finish her tuition.We sat at that place for like hours and talked and talked,wel they talked laa but i just listened.
Found out from veron that indra CANCELLED MY SIGNATURE ON MY YELLOW CHAIR AND WROTE SOMTHNG HERSELF!
Talk about teacher vandal hahas.Nvm i can get a new yllow chair,but mine was the only in class;P
After that we wnt home,forgot how already...hmm.
Then went 700plus to slack abit then they asked if i wanted to watch a manu match,so i was anything but they said one person had to bring one bottle;P
Huii also came,so we watched and huii slept afer first half!
Then next was me then kai.too tired!
Then morning went home to sleep for a miserable 2 hours and then went out again for guys day out taking pictures!
Funny stuff mann,us like 15 plus people then taking pics at manderin,cityhall,esplanade,mrt,orchard.Walked and ate and then owen called and said there was fireworks festival at esplanade so we pcked foodthere and went.
SUPER PACKED THERE!,we tried to make it across the bridge to meet two os but then got caught by the stupid police LOL
So we jumped on the highway and went to the underpass and blabla reached merlion finally.
KL carried me on his shoulders all the time and the view was great cos i was the highest there.
Took 8 vids of the show.simply great.
Toow more pics at merlion and then headed to mrt after an hour or so of sittin beside the water.

You make yourself busy to forget?isent it?

Arts fest tomorrow and nationalday soon.why the days so packed with thiungs to do!
STUDY!
How to get the studying mood,i dunno.

Wth ensuement of tattos and dyed hairs and shopping and overseas trips after O's,whats not to be excited!

Shit i sound so pathetic;P

Chasing Cars

I thought we could do it.Maybe it was all just shit.Seeing us loose and then catch up only to be beaten can only lead to sadnness.
After the match seeing zk sitting on the field alone really made me water.Ya we lost today but you wouldent give two shits about it but i care,Alot.
Couldent do it ment only disappointing myslef and then feeling useless and maybe that does not mean only for soccer.
What disappointments i had in the last few weeks.
Fuck.Drinks again this satday people.Photos and poses.